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Words have great power over children, they are capable of having an immediate effect and even lasting over time and staying installed in the mind and in the heart.
With words we can hurt, cause happiness, raise self-esteem or make people suffer; we can create or destroy. We all have some of those words stored inside, words that helped us get up and others that continue to hurt us. That is why we must take care of and select each one that we use with our children, avoiding destructive language and using affective language with children.
Luis Castellanos, in his book The Science of Positive Language: How the Words We Choose Change Us, addresses how words have an effect on the functioning of the brain. Likewise, in an investigation carried out by El Jardín de Junio it was revealed that 100% of the positive words spoken by a computer activated the brain's reaction time against negative or neutral ones. Castellanos states that Words like "cheerful, happy, animated, excited, proud or laughing" that have a significant positive charge, generate more brain activity.
Beyond any study, parents know the impact that words have on our children. It is not the same to say to children "leave me alone, I have a lot of trouble" than "let Mom finish this and now we play." The language we use is full of emotions: affection, anger, stress, pain ...
Words impact the brain of children and have direct consequences on their way of being. For example: if we always speak negatively to them, they will tend to think that they cannot; If we speak to them from optimism and happiness, our children will be more cheerful and content; if we yell at them, using hurtful and accusing words, their behavior will tend to be more aggressive.
The use of affective language with children not only refers to using words like "honey", "honey" or "my love", it is about focusing our speech on a way to connect with the emotions and the brain of the children of positive way how?
- Change the language: it is important to avoid constant criticism of children "you are a pig, look how you've gotten" and never use bad words or insults when talking to them "are you stupid or what?"
- Avoid the negative message: If we analyze our speech, we will find that at the end of the day the word that we have repeated ad nauseam is "NO". When it comes to educating our children we find ourselves in the need to say NO many times, but sometimes we overdo it and every message we transmit is negative. We can also teach him that something cannot be done in a positive way, for example, "If you pick up your toys, we can cook those cookies that you like so much."
- Do not abuse orders and warnings: "come here", "pick up this", "to the shower", "do your homework", "get dressed now or you will find out" ... A child's day to day can be full of orders and warnings that they can cause your blockage in addition to stress and anxiety. Too much pressure for just one day.
- Avoid labeling the child: We must not classify him as "you are lazy", "you are clumsy", even if he is not, the child will end up believing that he is.
- Do not fall into constant praise: Using positive and affectionate language with children does not mean constantly telling them how good and wonderful they are, even if they are not. It happens to be firm and direct when it is necessary to be it but always from the affection.
- Remind them how much we care: We must not underestimate the power of a beautiful phrase, we must tell them how important they are to us and how much we love them.
Affective language with children involves turning around all those mistakes we make in daily communication with our children, be very careful what we say and how we say it because each of the words we transmit to them impacts their brain. Positive language will:
- Reinforce the child's self-esteem.
- That the child has a more positive attitude to face the challenges that life poses.
- Influence their attitude and how they behave towards other people.
- Encourage a good relationship with our children, positive and happy, away from the rejection that bad words produce.
You can read more articles similar to Why Using Affective Language With Children Is So Important, in the category of Dialogue and communication on site.